Internet Censorship

Recently I had to write a research paper on a topic of my choice, so I chose internet censorship. Here's my paper for all those interested and a big thank you to those who allowed me to interview them! :) 

Internet Censorship; Should the Government Be Allowed to Do It?

The government should positively not be allowed to censor the internet because censorship over the internet has negative effects on schools, businesses and takes away our freedom of speech. Some countries have already began using internet censorship and recently a bill to censor the internet called SOPA was being discussed which many people opposed because of the above reasons.

First of all, what is internet censorship? Internet censorship is the control or suppression of the publishing of, or access to information on the Internet. It may be carried out by governments or by private organizations either at the order of government or on their own initiative. Recently a bill intending to censor the internet was brought to attention, this bill is called SOPA. SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) is a United States bill introduced by U.S. Representative Lamar S. Smith to expand the ability of U.S. law enforcement to fight online trafficking in copyrighted intellectual property and counterfeit goods. Provisions include the requesting of court orders to bar advertising networks and payment facilities from conducting business with infringing websites, and search engines from linking to the sites, and court orders requiring Internet service providers to block access to the sites. The law would expand existing criminal laws to include unauthorized streaming of copyright material, imposing a maximum penalty of five years in prison. SOPA has not yet been passed in the United States but has been shelved for the second time as many people opposed it.

Although SOPA has not been passed yet, there are other countries who do censor the internet.  An example of one of these countries is China. Internet censorship in China is among the strictest in the world. The government blocks web sites that discuss the Dalai Lama, the 1989 crackdown on Tiananmen Square protesters, Falun Gong, the banned spiritual movement, and other Internet sites. As people began protesting to stop the censoring of the internet, the Chinese government tightened its grip on electronic communications, and appeared to be more determined than ever to police cell phone calls, electronic messages, e-mail and access to the Internet in order to smother any hint of antigovernment sentiment. The government’s computers intercept incoming data and compare it against an ever-changing list of banned keywords or Web sites, screening out even more information. The motive is often obvious: Since late 2010, the censors have prevented Google searches of the English word “freedom.”

As we can see from China's example of internet censorship, the right to freedom of speech is taken away from people with the act of censoring the internet. If SOPA were to pass then our freedom of speech and expression would also be taken away, even if we do not live in the United States as a lot of the websites we (in Canada) use are American websites. The following is an excerpt from an article on The Globe and Mail's website. "'If I was in China, I wouldn't be mildly annoyed, I'd be pretty angry (about censorship). But, as we saw with SARS, what is happening on the other side of the world can have a large and direct impact on us — and censorship was certainly a big factor in that crisis,' says Julie Payne, Program Manager of Canadian Journalists for Free Expression. 'Perhaps it's time that we started to care more about censorship by countries like China, even if it is motivated by self-interest.' Payne worries that Canadians largely believe themselves to be unaffected by censorship, to the point that they may not even know about potential threats to their rights. 'How much access are CSIS and the RCMP getting to Canadians' e-mails and Internet usage patterns?' Payne asks. 'Do we even know how much our privacy is being compromised, as is happening in the U.S.?'" As shown in the article Canadian citizens will be affected by SOPA just as much as American citizens will be which means the U.S. is able to take away our freedom of speech and expression on the internet.

Not only does censoring the internet take away freedom of speech and expression but it also causes negative effects on both school and businesses. In some schools filters get put into effect with the best of intentions, they are not a cure-all to hiding inappropriate content. For instance, in schools with a filter designed to keep out inappropriate content may not be able to access content about the book "Moby Dick," Further, if a person is trying to find information on a more controversial topic -- such as sexuality or drug use -- to educate themselves, they may not be able to access the resources they need to be as self-educated as possible. Censoring the internet negatively affects students' grades as well, as most students use search engines such as Google to research topics for school projects. If the information they are looking for is not there, they are unable to put together their project and receive a bad grade.

Another factor that affects not only schools, but businesses as well is cost. Censoring the internet takes time and resources. In addition to the cost of the labor and equipment required to set up a filter, firewall or other form of censorship, the system needs to be maintained, occasionally upgraded and repaired as time goes on. Whether the cost of this comes from schools, corporate budgets or government budgets -- the money could be more effectively spent on more important issues, no matter what the scale. Not only does the cost of implementing this system is an issue but also money that businesses could potentially lose from internet censorship. Many businesses use the internet to advertise their business or services, sell their products, and keep customers updated on new services or products. Without the internet continuing to remain uncensored the businesses could suffer because they are not bringing in enough customers, not having the ability to sell things online or customers lose interest. This could cause businesses (especially ones who are strictly internet businesses) to completely be shut down. Also, if a business owner can't access certain parts of the Internet, they may not be able to compete fully on a global scale, or access the best resources for products and services required.

Recently, we asked 10 different people (5 males and 5 females) on their thoughts about internet censorship. 100% of these people said that internet censorship would be a negative thing, 60% said that it would have a negative effect on schools and 70% said that it would have a negative effect on businesses. When asked about the negative effects internet censorship would have on us, they answered with the following:

-          affect personal learning experiences negatively

-          disconnects people from one another

-          takes away freedom of speech

-          harder to do research for school

-          causes businesses to fail

-          reduces our knowledge

-          harder to access information about other countries

-          silences the right to protest

-          takes away a source of media

-          stifles creativity and innovation

-          puts a burden on website owners to police user-contributed material.

When asked about the positive effects internet censorship could have on us they answered the following:

-          corporations (that don't depend on the internet) will get more money

-          stems the flow of cyber-crime and pirating

-          producers/artists get the money they deserve

-          parents wouldn't have to constantly watch their kids on the internet

-          less hackers/ viruses/ fraud cases

-          potentially better government control over protests and other unlawful assemblies

-          there are none

When asked about how they felt about their right to freedom of speech being taken away, they responded with the following answers:

-          angry (3 people said this)

-          upset

-          frustrated

-          aggravated

-          repressed

-          that the government is trying to stop a social voice

-          that it will cause us to be sent back as a civilization

-          That the internet should be in line with the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, as well as the U.S. First Amendment Rights.

Therefore, the government should not be allowed to censor the internet because of the negative effects it will have such as taking away our freedom of speech and expression, reducing our knowledge, affecting our schools and students' abilities to succeed in school, affecting our businesses and causing businesses to lose money/ be shut down, stifling our creativity and innovation, and silencing our right to protest. 

One Million Moms is Ridiculous!

To all those who don't know there is a group called One Million Moms who are trying to get Ellen Degeneres fired from being on JC Penny commercials because she's gay. They are also trying to cancel other shows or commercials because they claim that they are immoral (the show "Glee" is an example of this) and have already succeeded in cancelling other shows and commercials (such as a show on MTV called "Skins") By doing this they are taking away everyone else's freedom to watch what we want to watch. We must put an end to this! 

Today I went onto the One Million Moms' website and wrote them an email, hoping that maybe we can see eye to eye but we're going to need more than just one person to put a stop to this. If we can get enough people with us they may back down and start doing the sensible thing and instead of trying to censor everyone they can just censor themselves (with parental blocks etc). Below is the letter that I wrote to them. 

Okay, so I do not agree with a single thing you stand for. Yes, I understand that you don't want your children to see certain shows or commercials but there's a simple answer to that, DON'T LET THEM WATCH TV. Or, instead buy DVDs or purchase Netflix so children can only watch certain shows. Or put a parental block on your tv. But don't ruin tv for the rest of us. Not everyone shares the same views as you and it's unfair that we have to lose all of the things we enjoy because you guys say it's immoral. For example, you are against the show "Glee" (I'm assuming it's because of the gay people in the show?) That show has helped me through a lot in my life. I love that show and if it were to get cancelled because you don't want to see it I would be outraged. If you don't like it, DON'T WATCH IT! Another thing is, Ellen Degeneres is one of the most kind, helpful people around. Have you ever even taken the time to watch her show and see all of the things she does to help people? Just because she's gay doesn't make her any less of a person. In fact, I think she's a great person! She has accomplished so much in her life and in her career and trying to get someone who didn't do anything wrong fired is completely ridiculous. How would you feel if you got fired because you're a female? It's something you can't change, you were born that way and you're not going to change the way that you are, so why should Ellen have to? You can continue to boycott JC Penny all you want but there are going to be people who still shop there, because not everyone shares the same opinions as you, as I said before. After reading through your site and your Twitter I feel as if you're trying to shove your beliefs down my throat and take away things I enjoy to make your lives better and easier. That is wrong. By doing what you're trying to do you're taking away my freedom and my choice to watch what I want to watch.  Instead of taking away my choices, why don't you just make your own choices to not watch these programs or commercials that you don't like. There's always going to be commercials and programs with bad content in them, if you start taking away all of the things that could be considered "immoral" we're going to have absolutely nothing left. Stop trying to take away my rights and freedoms. It is against the Charter of Rights and Freedoms (for Canada) and the United States Constitution or Bill of Rights. Yes, you have the right to freedom of speech and freedom to petition but all I'm saying is instead of immediately demanding that something be taken away because you don't agree with it, instead make personal choices to not watch those things and let everyone else who enjoys it continue enjoying it. Do not ruin tv for the rest of us please. 

-- 

To see any other programs and commercials that they have cancelled or are trying to cancel you can click on the link to their website below. 

http://www.onemillionmoms.com/victories.asp <-- things that they have successfully cancelled 

http://www.onemillionmoms.com/issues.asp <-- things that they are trying to have cancelled

If you wish to write them an email about stopping this madness you can click on this link --> http://www.onemillionmoms.com/ComplaintForm.asp

He's Just Not That Into You

Here's something everyone (whether you're male or female) should do. This is from the novel "He's Just Not That Into You", which I previously mentioned in my article "Amanda's Rules of Dating". This is what you need to do, reset or re-evaluate your standards, here's a list of suggestions from the book. 


- I will not go out with a man who hasn't asked me out first
- I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone
- I will not date a man who isn't sure he wants to date me 
- I will not date a man who makes me feel sexually undesirable 
- I will not date a man who drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me feel uncomfortable
- I will not be with a man who is afraid to talk about our future
- I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me
- I will not date a man who is married (or otherwise unavailable) 
- I will not be with a man who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person 


Now it's your turn, write down some of your own standards you came up with, and STICK to them. This short article could also be used as an example of what you SHOULD when interested in someone. For example, ask them out first, call them or return their calls/texts, etc. That is all. 

I Love Ellen!

First off I'd like to say a great big happy birthday to Ellen Degeneres! I love her so much! So, if you guys didn't know I am a HUGE fan of Ellen Degeneres. I watch her show almost every day, and recently I read her book "Seriously, I'm Kidding". I think she is one of the nicest, funniest people ever to walk this Earth. She is a huge inspiration not just to me but to many people out there. I love everything about this woman! But anyways, recently I read her book "Seriously, I'm Kidding" and it is a definite must read! I have never actually laughed out loud while reading a book but I did while reading hers. If you want some serious entertainment I suggest you check it out! You can buy "Seriously, I'm Kidding" at your local bookstore (I can't remember the name where I got mine, it was at a book store in a mall) or you can order a copy online from the link below. 

http://www.amazon.ca/Seriously-Im-Kidding-Ellen-DeGeneres/dp/0446585025


Ellen also has 2 other books that I have yet to read. They're definitely on my "To Buy and Read" list, so if you want to also check out those books as well there are links below. 

http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/0743247639/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=485327511&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0446585025&pf_rd_m=A3DWYIK6Y9EEQB&pf_rd_r=041P77FWE34BWV3E00X9

http://www.amazon.ca/My-Point-Do-Have-One/dp/0553384228/ref=pd_sim_b_2


ALSO, if you want to read a touching story that really makes you think I suggest you check out Ellen's girlfriend, Portia de Rossi's book titled "Unbearable Lightness". The book is about Portia's story of her struggle with anorexia and how she got through it. I nearly cried in this book, it's very inspirational and I think everyone everywhere should read it. So check out "Unbearable Lightness" as well :) Link is below! 

http://www.amazon.ca/Unbearable-Lightness-Story-Loss-Gain/dp/1439177783

PS. High five to everyone who still reads books! :) I love you all! <3

Song of The Day

I know I haven't done the song of the day in awhile, but you guys totally have to check this out! I originally saw this on Ellen and I thought it was awesome! This is 5 people playing one guitar, and the song is amazing as well. This was extremely well done over all and I think I may have broken the replay button from listening to it so many times. Seriously guys, check it out! :)

Somebody That I Used To Know - Walk Off The Earth

Who I Am

I had to do a write up for a project for my schooling and I just thought that I would share it with you guys. There is obviously so much more than me but here's a bit about me so you guys can get to know me better :) 

Who is Amanda?

When people ask me who I am and what sort of things that I'm into I don't usually know what to say because I'm passionate about so many things. I like to say I am a person of many interests and the values that I have are very important to me. I always set goals for myself and sometimes it takes awhile to achieve them but when I do it's the greatest feeling in the world. I pride myself in being the best that I can be; sometimes I get off course or fall off track but as long as I make in it the end and have accomplished something along the way I shine.

Firstly, a couple of my values in my life are family and aesthetics. Family values are very important to me because of a few reasons. About a year ago I had moved away from home on bad terms and was completely cut off from my family, after experiencing that I realized just how important family is. Families are the people who will always be there for you, support you and forgive you. My mother and I have always been fairly close but I feel that over the past year we've grown even closer. Since moving away from home and moving back in, although I don't live with my father we have also grown closer and are able to talk easier with each other. Although the experience of moving away from home was a bad thing I learned a lot from it and because of that mistake I've come so much closer with my family.

As well as family, aesthetics is another value I have. I tend to find beauty in everything, which a lot of people forget about. I like to take the time to stop and smell the roses or watch the sun rise. When I take the time to do these things I feel closer with nature and feel better as a person in general. Whenever I get upset or angry about something taking a walk usually helps me. I find walking and just looking at everything you're surrounded by is relaxing and helps you forget about the petty arguments and complications that come with life. Last summer I went for a 5 hour long walk and on that walk I learned a lot about myself, and life as well. I learned that you shouldn't get upset over every little thing that doesn't seem to go your way because we are surrounded by so much good all the time. We tend to ignore the good and only concentrate on the bad, but if we take that time out of our lives to be thankful for everything and admire the natural beauty we'd find ourselves much happier more frequently.

Secondly, I have set a few long term goals for myself. School has always been a struggle for me so I want to concentrate on my education. I was supposed to graduate last year with all of my friends but I was short 6 credits so I wasn't able to. Seeing all of my peers graduate and leave me behind was a really horrible feeling so I've set a goal to graduate this year to prove to myself that I have the ability to, even though my peers have already graduated. After graduating high school I want to go to college for Early Childhood Education because of my love for kids. Hopefully I will be going to a college in Winnipeg, Thunder Bay, or London.

Speaking of kids, another one of my goals is to visit my nieces more often. They live in Kenora so I don't get to see them as often as I'd like to. My nieces are only 7 weeks apart as my sister and my sister-in-law got pregnant around the same time, and they are both around 2 years old now. When children are younger they grow so fast and if you don't see them they almost forget you, this is something that I really don't want to happen. I love kids in general and I want to be apart of their lives and have them know me as Auntie Amanda. Every now and them I get to Skype with them but it's not the same as seeing them and holding them. Therefore I've decided that I will go up to Kenora to visit them at every chance I have.

Lastly, a few other things about me that someone might want to know is that I love animals and have two pets, and I have interests in music and travel. I love animals and enjoy having pets because they're almost like little furry people, or little furry children. I have a 3 year old Miniature Doberman cross with Chihuahua named Bella and a 5 month old kitten named Roxy. Both Bella and Roxy provide so much laughter and entertainment in my life. They can be a handful when they get into things that they're not supposed to, or when Roxy climbs the curtains but overall they bring joy into both mine and my mother's lives.

Along with being interested in animals I also have a bunch of other interests. A couple of those interests are music and travel. I have been interested in music ever since I can remember. I have been singing since I was in the crib and playing guitar for at least 6 years now. I have written many songs and performed at a few shows. One show that I performed at that really sticks out in my mind was when I performed at the Loud As Rock concert in 2010 with a close friend of mine, David Huffman. I remember getting up on that stage with all of the bright lights was so scary, although I had performed before. I was so nervous at first but once we got off the stage I felt amazing. I think that the fact that you can share your thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams through a song is just absolutely amazing. Music has been a huge part of my life and always will be. Maybe some day I can combine my interest in music with my other interest in travel. I love to travel because you get to see new places, meet new people and make friends with them, and learn so much. Starting in 2008 I began going on trips with a youth group from Thunder Bay every two years in the summer. In 2008 we went to the Yukon which was such amazing experience that I decided to go on the following trip in 2010 to London, Ontario. It was going on those trips that made me decide that I want to keep traveling and go to different places all around the world.

Therefore, I would describe myself as a very family-oriented person that enjoys the little things in life and has many interests. Every experience I have in my life adds to those interests and the knowledge that I have. Every day I'm growing and learning more about life and about myself. 

Amanda's Rules of Dating!

1. Introduction: I Think I Need a Time Machine...
First of all, I am very old fashioned when it comes to dating. Do you ever look back at the past and think, "woah, things seemed really awesome back then!" Well, it's because they had a whole different take on things. In today's society things like one night stands and casual hook ups are not an uncommon thing. A lot of people will have sex with complete strangers, and I personally don't think it's right. Remember back in the day where a guy would have to woo a girl, take her on dates, and actually work really hard just to get one little kiss? I certainly do! What ever happened to that? I mean, I wasn't alive when all this was happening but I've seen movies, I've read my fair share of stories and even heard stories from older people. Back in the day people were romantic, and somehow we have lost our way. So why not go back to how things used to be? Do things the OLD FASHIONED WAY! :) In case you need a little help with that here's some guidelines you should follow. 


2. Step One: Who Woulda Thunk Of Getting to Know Someone? 
I'm totally sick and tired of hearing of people jumping into relationships, or into bed, with someone they hardly know! Relationships work SO much better when you don't do things backwards. Yes, I know, this sounds hypocritical because I've jumped into relationships before, but maybe you should listen to me since I've experienced it! Before you start dating someone you should have ACTUAL conversations with people. "What? Conversations you say? What is this nonsense you speak of? Can't I just say 'hey baby, you look hot'? That usually works, right?" WRONG. You need to let this person know EXACTLY what your all about and you need to know that about them as well. Don't know what to talk about? Here's some suggestions: 

- favourite bands/artists/genres 
- crazy fun stories of your past
- what you want to do with your life
- your views on things in life
- favourite tv shows/movies/short films/any type of media
- hobbies


I'm not gonna lay out EVERY topic cause there's so many but once you start talking with the right person you'll find it's hard to stop. Common interests in things bring people together. That saying "opposites attract" isn't really true because if you truly are opposites of each other then you generally don't have the same interests which leaves you with nothing to talk about and usually ends in arguing of some sort, or something along the lines of that. That being said, people can have different interests, people expand on their own interests by becoming interested in other peoples interests. I've said "interest" enough now. The point is, FIND SOME COMMON INTERESTS AND TALK ABOUT IT! Talk through the internet, the phone, through texting, in person, through smoke signal, I don't care just communicate in some way before even considering dating this person. 


3. Step Two: The Almighty First Date.
Now that you've talked, you feel like you are genuinely interested in this person not only for their stunning good looks and charm but also their awesome personality as well, right? Okay, so this is the time to take a risk, asking them on the almighty first date! This can be a little scary because yes, we are all afraid of rejection, but it's better to have tried and failed than not tried at all. If you fail, you move on, find someone new and start all over. That's all there is to it. But how might you ask someone on a date? Or, what should I do for this date? You may ask. Well have no fear! I shall tell you! Here's a list of DOs and DON'Ts


When asking someone on a date....


DO: 
- Ask them in person, over the phone or something more personal than texting or over any form of "chatting" 
- Ask them in a comfortable manner, make sure you're giving them a choice and not making them feel obliged to say yes. [Example, "Hey (insert name here) I was just wondering if you would like to go ice skating or something with me on Sunday" (insert stunning smile here)]
- Be confident, confidence is sexy. 


DON'T: 
- Make a huge show of it because that could make them feel like they have to go, don't be buying gifts or anything like that until at least the third date, and even then make it a small gift, like a single flower rather than a bouquet. Also, some girls are uncomfortable when it comes to receiving gifts, like I am, so be sure to discuss that sort of thing casually. 
- Get your friend to ask them, or any other impersonal thing like that, this must be done yourself. 
- Don't set up the date before they know [Example, "Hey (insert name here) I reserved us a table at that restaurant you said you liked for Saturday, hope you're as excited as I am!" That's just inconsiderate.] 
- Be over-confident because then you just look like an idiot who is full of themselves. 




When going on a date...


DO: 
- Choose a place to go together, somewhere that you will both enjoy. If you like sports and they don't, don't invite them to watch the game.
- Go somewhere casual rather than fancy, like go ice skating, go for a walk down the pier, or to the beach etc.
- Go somewhere that's not overly loud, where you can talk. 
- Bring gum, no one likes bad breath
- Holding hands is first date acceptable if you are both comfortable with it.
- Express that you had a great time and would really like to do it again some time. 
- Walk them home from your date (if walking) 
- Be polite, have manners and etiquette. 
- Guys, opening doors for the ladies is always nice. Girls, thank the gentleman who just held that door open for you! 


DON'T: 
- Bring friends on a first date, later on in the relationship double dates are great and can be a blast but this is the time when you're getting to know each other romantically instead of just as people. 
- Ask them to pay/ refuse to let them pay. If you come to a problem like this, you can discuss if you want to split the cost. I may be old fashioned but the man doesn't always have to pay. I think the person who asked the other person on a date should pay, unless the other person wants to chip in of course. 
- Try to kiss on the first date, or anything like that. 
- Give any gifts at this point. 
- Be obnoxious, talk about only yourself, show off a lot or anything like that.

4. Step Three: Dating
Did you know that 'dating' can mean that you're not in a relationship at all? Oh wow, that's unheard of! Everyone is always in a relationship! After getting to know each other and going on the almighty first date, you should probably consider 'dating' this person you're interested in, instead of immediately asking them to be in a relationship with you. "Well, how long should I be 'dating' this person? Or, what are the rules of this 'dating'?" I'll tell ya. Dating should last for at least a couple weeks, at least long enough to go on at least 3 dates (3 can be a magical number ya know!). Personally, I'd prefer that dating lasts 3 weeks, one date a week, you can go on more dates than three or continue dating for longer than 2 or 3 weeks, but you should stick to the rules of dating while you're dating, makes sense, doesn't it? Here are a few rules when it comes to dating. 


DATING RULES TO KEEP IN MIND! 
- For all first date dos and don'ts, re-read step two!
- Do not kiss on the second date, a kiss on the hand or the cheek in parting or greeting would be acceptable but no kissing on the lips and no going any farther, obviously. Still no gifts at this time, save that for the third date. Go somewhere like a movie, to see a comedy show, go to a concert etc. 
- Yes, you can kiss on the third date, you can also now purchase a small gift if you'd like such as flowers or something, but nothing super expensive. Going to dinner is a good idea for the third date. Do not do anything more than kiss on the third date. 
- While dating you should not sleep together or anything of the sort, wait for the relationship stage.
- "Hanging out" is not considered a date. 
- Dating means that you're are NOT exclusive at this point, that comes when the relationship begins. 
- Do not go to a bar or club for a date, it's not classy at all. 
- If you go to a place that serves alcohol such as a restaurant/concert etc. do not get drunk, also not classy, a drink or two is not a problem but getting drunk is sloppy. 
- Always. Be. Classy. 


5. Step Four: Relationship Time!
Okay, so you've decided that you really like this person and you want to become exclusive, so what do you do? You ask them to be your boyfriend/girlfriend of course! But there ways that you should do this. Here's a few guidelines to follow about how to ask someone out.


Guidelines!
- I suggest asking them while on a date, not just out of the blue. 
- Do NOT ask them over texting or any form of instant messaging, that just takes the special and excitement right out of it.
- Actually, that's about it, you just have to be personal about it and obviously don't make them feel like they have to say yes. 


Okay, so they said yes, and you're in a relationship. No, this does not mean you should jump into bed with each other. Personally, I believe that you shouldn't sleep with someone unless you know you have really strong feelings for them, so be sure of those feelings first. 


6.Uh Oh, Break Ups. 
It's not working out? Well it's better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all right? Okay, so you want to break up with this person, after everything you've decided that you're just not going to work out. Here's some guidelines when it comes to breaking up with someone. 


- Don't do it over text/ instant messaging
- Over the phone is kind of iffy
- It'd be best and most respectful for you to do it in person 
- Don't say the totally cliched line "It's not you, it's me" 
- You better actually have a reason, and you better actually tell them why you two are not going to work out. Breaking up without explanation is just stupid. 
- So, you met someone else that you think you'd be more interested in, it happens sometimes. Be a good person and tell the person you're currently with instead of sneaking around behind their backs, or worse, cheating on them. 
- Always think twice before breaking up with someone, think about if it's something you really want to do. If you're just having some problems see if there's a way that you and your partner could work on these problems rather than just ending it and running away from them. I'd say about 90% of problems that people have in relationships are solvable. Yes, it's going to take time. Yes, it's going to take effort. But if you really care about your partner it's worth it. 
- After breaking up, do not sleep with your ex. It only causes mixed feelings and hurts both people. In a sense, yes it's better than sleeping with a stranger but at the same time it could be very harmful to the friendship if you're wanting to stay friends. 
- After breaking up rebound relationships tend to follow as you're feeling very alone and just want to be loved. Be very careful about this because rebound relationships never last. You want to be at where you and your ex were at so you rush through the relationship trying to get there and it damages the relationship, therefore causing it to end. At the end of a rebound relationship, both people just end up getting hurt. I really don't suggest it. Instead, just take some time to concentrate on yourself and becoming happy again. 




7. I MISS MY EX! 
Okay, so you broke up with your ex and are now missing them like crazy. Don't worry this happens but if you decide you want to get back together, give it time first. You're both still healing and everyone goes through stages after a break up. Here are the stages: 


STAGE ONE: Healing from the Break Up.
During this stage you are healing from the pain you experienced from the break up. Break ups can be harsh and are always hard to deal with so during this stage you (and your ex) will both be very emotional and fragile. It's best to keep your distance and allow them their space so they have time to heal. 


STAGE TWO: Healing from the Bad Memories.
When you two were together something obviously went wrong to cause the break up, either loss of chemistry, attraction, maybe a fight or something along the lines of that. During this time you are slowly pushing all that into the back of your mind, not completely forgetting it but no longer allowing it to bother you. Talking to your ex now would just remind you both of the bad memories and prolong this stage so I suggest keeping the distance until this stage is over. 


STAGE THREE: I Miss You.
After all of the healing, you (or your ex) can finally miss the other person, generally you're not going to be remembering the bad times but you're going to be remembering the good times you had together, the laughs you shared and how happy you were with that person. Think really long and hard if you're sure you want to get back together with your ex, because numerous break ups can be harmful on a relationship and it wastes your time with someone you don't want to be with or doesn't actually want to be with you when you could be finding someone else. Make a list of pro's and con's if you have to and then go about trying to rekindle your relationship or moving on, which ever you choose. 


STAGE FOUR: Moving On. 
After long enough all of the pain and bad memories have subsided, you have decided to maybe try and find someone else who will be more compatible with you. Good for you! Get back out there hot stuff! Just head on back to the top of the page and start all over. If your ex is moving on and you don't want them to, sometimes you just have to accept that it's over and do the same. It's hard but there's no point in waiting around for something when it's already off with another person. Always remember, you are a wonderful person, there are many people who are going to want to date you, you are a fox! So get back out there and be happy! :) 


8. Author's Note
I have been through some pretty bad relationships, break ups and over all had some terrible experiences with dating, not that I'm going to share them with you at this time, but I'm saying I know how it feels. It feels pretty hopeless. I just want to tell you right now, don't give up. Because there ARE awesome people out there. Not all relationships work out and you just have to come to accept it. As you go through these relationships, break ups and bad dating experiences you learn and you grow as a person so sometimes you have to go through the bad to see the good. 


One of the toughest things in the world would have to be break ups. I know there have been times in my life where I go crazy over a break up because you just know that there's some way you can fix it, but sometimes, there's not. I haven't actually gotten around to reading this book but I know the author is great and after skimming through it, it looks pretty helpful. If you're stuck in the middle of a break up and feel hopeless and lost I suggest you read "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken (A Smart Girl's Break Up Buddy) by Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola Behrendt". Greg was also one of the author's in the book "He's Just Not That Into You" which I'm going to talk about in a minute but first I have one thing to say about this book. Yes, it says a smart girls break up buddy but hey, guys can use it too. A lot of the time both guys and girls have had the same feeling towards a break up. So, if you're a guy and you're going through a really tough break up there's no harm in checking out this book. 

Another really great book, which is also directed towards the ladies (but hey, guys, give it a chance!) is a book called "He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo". You've probably seen the movie but I have to say the movie is BASED off parts of the book, the book is nothing like the movie. It's not a bunch of characters doing their thing or anything, it's a book that tells you "if he's doing (insert action i.e. not calling you) he's just not that into you" and it goes more depth into it. This is a book I STRONGLY recommend to anyone, especially people who have had previous issues with dating, such as always going for the wrong type of person. This book has given me such great insight to relationships and if I could hug Greg and Liz and thank them for writing it, I would. If you can get the "newly expanded edition" I suggest it as they added more wonderful things in there for you. 

*newly expanded edition

You can find either of these books at your local bookstore (I bought them from Chapters) or you can order them online. Here are a couple links to order them if you so wish. 

It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken:

http://www.amazon.ca/Its-Called-Breakup-Because-Broken/dp/0767921852

He's Just Not That Into You: 

http://www.amazon.ca/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/068987474X

9. Thank You!

I just want to thank all of you readers for reading my article and I hope it has somehow in someway helped you. :) I love every single one of you!