Live, Every Day.

I've never been able to grasp the concept of death, when I think about someone I know or once knew, I can't picture this world without them in it, and once they're gone my mind cannot believe that they're actually gone. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, that part of me still believes that they're here (in our hearts, memories etc) but the one thing that I find the most strange is how people as a whole deal with death. Instantly when you hear of someone who passed away you start thinking of all of the things you once did together, the things you said to them and how you overall interacted with them, you recall memories. Then, you start wondering if there was anything that you wanted to say or do but didn't and you begin regretting not acting on it when you still had the chance. Here's the part that just blows my mind though, even though we feel this way when dealing with death, we do not feel this way as often in life. Instead of saying the things we want to say or taking a chance and doing the things we want to do with our friends or even our peers we don't even give it a thought, we do not live life to it's fullest and take advantage of every opportunity that arises. We do not think about "what if I never see this person again, what if I never even get to say goodbye?" I believe that we should always show our true feelings to others, even if it's scary, it's okay to be afraid. I once said that we should never live each day as it's our last, we should live it like it's our first because if you treat every day like every experience is new to you, you will learn to appreciate life more. But I also believe that we should treat every day as if it might be someone else's last, because you never know. We should take chances and risks, and make sure that our loved ones always know how we feel, we should be compassionate and emotional and express ourselves as often as possible. When the day comes where my life comes to an end I want the people that I love to know just how much I loved them and that I treasure every moment I have ever had with them. I want the people who made a difference in my life to know that they made a difference and that they taught me something to help me become the person that I am. This is the reason why I do not like going to bed angry, I like all issues or problems that arise to be solved quickly and handled well. You never know when the last time you see someone might be, and you never want the last thing you say to them to be a negative thing. 

Just my thought for today, I hope it made you think a little. 

A Re-Realization With The Help of a Friend

Tonight, I got talking with a friend over Facebook about some things I have gone through in the past. After going back and remembering everything I had this realization, that I know I already knew, just didn't ever know how to say it, but now I've figured out how to put it into words thanks to a very kind and patient person. 


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Me
I've made a LOT of mistakes in my life. And yet, people still doubt my actions and my reasoning for doing things. For example, most of my friends are appalled that I'm even letting my ex-boyfriend be apart of my life still because he cheated. Just because he cheated doesn't mean I hate HIM, I hate his actions, yes, but he will always be my best friend. They don't comprehend that cause they haven't been through everything I have. Forgiveness is a very powerful thing. I ALWAYS forgive. I'll be mad for as long as I want but some day, one day I'll forgive that person. Even if they screw up and do the same thing 3284728947389247 times. I may get annoyed with them but I still always forgive them in the end.
Because without forgiveness, no one would learn and grow. I'm sure one day I'll forgive the people who have done really wrong to me. Just not any time soon.


Friend
That's a beautiful thing to do, you really are notch above.


Me 
Thanks, most people don't think so, then again I don't usually take the time to explain everything to everyone.
Because I don't believe I should have to justify my actions to anyone, I think I should be able to make my own decisions based on what I know and my own experience rather than people's opinions and it's just natural that I'm going to make mistakes along the way, because I'm human, and I learn from those mistakes. Maybe not right away, or in a way that everyone can see, but I, personally, know in my heart I've learned something.
Thanks so much for listening to my huge long story, it helps me when I talk about it cause sometimes I forget, and sometimes I even forget who I am in a sense.


Friend
well, I'm glad you told me


Me
Like, what I just wrote, the above two paragraphs, I didn't know how to put it into words before to the people judging me and telling me what to do but now I know, just from recapping everything
All I could say was "you don't understand" which is a horrible thing to say to anyone cause they just might understand if you actually explain to them. As people, we generally don't take the time to do that. We just get angry and frustrated with them for not being able to read your mind.


Friend
I've actually thought the same thing


Me
I bet a lot of people have. Most people just don't actually acknowledge it.


Friend
Well, I haven't until now.


Me
But we all know this, we just need to be reminded sometimes.
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So to all that read this, please take this all to heart, and always remember to forgive. You don't have to forget, actually I don't even suggest forgetting because remembering your past and your mistake allows you to be who you are today and to continue to learn and grow. I hope that what I've said makes someone think, if what I've said here has made even just one person change the way they see things in a positive way I'd be eternally happy. Never let yourself forget who you are and always be true to yourself.


Love Always, 
Amanda <3