I Love Ellen!

First off I'd like to say a great big happy birthday to Ellen Degeneres! I love her so much! So, if you guys didn't know I am a HUGE fan of Ellen Degeneres. I watch her show almost every day, and recently I read her book "Seriously, I'm Kidding". I think she is one of the nicest, funniest people ever to walk this Earth. She is a huge inspiration not just to me but to many people out there. I love everything about this woman! But anyways, recently I read her book "Seriously, I'm Kidding" and it is a definite must read! I have never actually laughed out loud while reading a book but I did while reading hers. If you want some serious entertainment I suggest you check it out! You can buy "Seriously, I'm Kidding" at your local bookstore (I can't remember the name where I got mine, it was at a book store in a mall) or you can order a copy online from the link below. 

http://www.amazon.ca/Seriously-Im-Kidding-Ellen-DeGeneres/dp/0446585025


Ellen also has 2 other books that I have yet to read. They're definitely on my "To Buy and Read" list, so if you want to also check out those books as well there are links below. 

http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/0743247639/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=485327511&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0446585025&pf_rd_m=A3DWYIK6Y9EEQB&pf_rd_r=041P77FWE34BWV3E00X9

http://www.amazon.ca/My-Point-Do-Have-One/dp/0553384228/ref=pd_sim_b_2


ALSO, if you want to read a touching story that really makes you think I suggest you check out Ellen's girlfriend, Portia de Rossi's book titled "Unbearable Lightness". The book is about Portia's story of her struggle with anorexia and how she got through it. I nearly cried in this book, it's very inspirational and I think everyone everywhere should read it. So check out "Unbearable Lightness" as well :) Link is below! 

http://www.amazon.ca/Unbearable-Lightness-Story-Loss-Gain/dp/1439177783

PS. High five to everyone who still reads books! :) I love you all! <3

Song of The Day

I know I haven't done the song of the day in awhile, but you guys totally have to check this out! I originally saw this on Ellen and I thought it was awesome! This is 5 people playing one guitar, and the song is amazing as well. This was extremely well done over all and I think I may have broken the replay button from listening to it so many times. Seriously guys, check it out! :)

Somebody That I Used To Know - Walk Off The Earth

Who I Am

I had to do a write up for a project for my schooling and I just thought that I would share it with you guys. There is obviously so much more than me but here's a bit about me so you guys can get to know me better :) 

Who is Amanda?

When people ask me who I am and what sort of things that I'm into I don't usually know what to say because I'm passionate about so many things. I like to say I am a person of many interests and the values that I have are very important to me. I always set goals for myself and sometimes it takes awhile to achieve them but when I do it's the greatest feeling in the world. I pride myself in being the best that I can be; sometimes I get off course or fall off track but as long as I make in it the end and have accomplished something along the way I shine.

Firstly, a couple of my values in my life are family and aesthetics. Family values are very important to me because of a few reasons. About a year ago I had moved away from home on bad terms and was completely cut off from my family, after experiencing that I realized just how important family is. Families are the people who will always be there for you, support you and forgive you. My mother and I have always been fairly close but I feel that over the past year we've grown even closer. Since moving away from home and moving back in, although I don't live with my father we have also grown closer and are able to talk easier with each other. Although the experience of moving away from home was a bad thing I learned a lot from it and because of that mistake I've come so much closer with my family.

As well as family, aesthetics is another value I have. I tend to find beauty in everything, which a lot of people forget about. I like to take the time to stop and smell the roses or watch the sun rise. When I take the time to do these things I feel closer with nature and feel better as a person in general. Whenever I get upset or angry about something taking a walk usually helps me. I find walking and just looking at everything you're surrounded by is relaxing and helps you forget about the petty arguments and complications that come with life. Last summer I went for a 5 hour long walk and on that walk I learned a lot about myself, and life as well. I learned that you shouldn't get upset over every little thing that doesn't seem to go your way because we are surrounded by so much good all the time. We tend to ignore the good and only concentrate on the bad, but if we take that time out of our lives to be thankful for everything and admire the natural beauty we'd find ourselves much happier more frequently.

Secondly, I have set a few long term goals for myself. School has always been a struggle for me so I want to concentrate on my education. I was supposed to graduate last year with all of my friends but I was short 6 credits so I wasn't able to. Seeing all of my peers graduate and leave me behind was a really horrible feeling so I've set a goal to graduate this year to prove to myself that I have the ability to, even though my peers have already graduated. After graduating high school I want to go to college for Early Childhood Education because of my love for kids. Hopefully I will be going to a college in Winnipeg, Thunder Bay, or London.

Speaking of kids, another one of my goals is to visit my nieces more often. They live in Kenora so I don't get to see them as often as I'd like to. My nieces are only 7 weeks apart as my sister and my sister-in-law got pregnant around the same time, and they are both around 2 years old now. When children are younger they grow so fast and if you don't see them they almost forget you, this is something that I really don't want to happen. I love kids in general and I want to be apart of their lives and have them know me as Auntie Amanda. Every now and them I get to Skype with them but it's not the same as seeing them and holding them. Therefore I've decided that I will go up to Kenora to visit them at every chance I have.

Lastly, a few other things about me that someone might want to know is that I love animals and have two pets, and I have interests in music and travel. I love animals and enjoy having pets because they're almost like little furry people, or little furry children. I have a 3 year old Miniature Doberman cross with Chihuahua named Bella and a 5 month old kitten named Roxy. Both Bella and Roxy provide so much laughter and entertainment in my life. They can be a handful when they get into things that they're not supposed to, or when Roxy climbs the curtains but overall they bring joy into both mine and my mother's lives.

Along with being interested in animals I also have a bunch of other interests. A couple of those interests are music and travel. I have been interested in music ever since I can remember. I have been singing since I was in the crib and playing guitar for at least 6 years now. I have written many songs and performed at a few shows. One show that I performed at that really sticks out in my mind was when I performed at the Loud As Rock concert in 2010 with a close friend of mine, David Huffman. I remember getting up on that stage with all of the bright lights was so scary, although I had performed before. I was so nervous at first but once we got off the stage I felt amazing. I think that the fact that you can share your thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams through a song is just absolutely amazing. Music has been a huge part of my life and always will be. Maybe some day I can combine my interest in music with my other interest in travel. I love to travel because you get to see new places, meet new people and make friends with them, and learn so much. Starting in 2008 I began going on trips with a youth group from Thunder Bay every two years in the summer. In 2008 we went to the Yukon which was such amazing experience that I decided to go on the following trip in 2010 to London, Ontario. It was going on those trips that made me decide that I want to keep traveling and go to different places all around the world.

Therefore, I would describe myself as a very family-oriented person that enjoys the little things in life and has many interests. Every experience I have in my life adds to those interests and the knowledge that I have. Every day I'm growing and learning more about life and about myself. 

Amanda's Rules of Dating!

1. Introduction: I Think I Need a Time Machine...
First of all, I am very old fashioned when it comes to dating. Do you ever look back at the past and think, "woah, things seemed really awesome back then!" Well, it's because they had a whole different take on things. In today's society things like one night stands and casual hook ups are not an uncommon thing. A lot of people will have sex with complete strangers, and I personally don't think it's right. Remember back in the day where a guy would have to woo a girl, take her on dates, and actually work really hard just to get one little kiss? I certainly do! What ever happened to that? I mean, I wasn't alive when all this was happening but I've seen movies, I've read my fair share of stories and even heard stories from older people. Back in the day people were romantic, and somehow we have lost our way. So why not go back to how things used to be? Do things the OLD FASHIONED WAY! :) In case you need a little help with that here's some guidelines you should follow. 


2. Step One: Who Woulda Thunk Of Getting to Know Someone? 
I'm totally sick and tired of hearing of people jumping into relationships, or into bed, with someone they hardly know! Relationships work SO much better when you don't do things backwards. Yes, I know, this sounds hypocritical because I've jumped into relationships before, but maybe you should listen to me since I've experienced it! Before you start dating someone you should have ACTUAL conversations with people. "What? Conversations you say? What is this nonsense you speak of? Can't I just say 'hey baby, you look hot'? That usually works, right?" WRONG. You need to let this person know EXACTLY what your all about and you need to know that about them as well. Don't know what to talk about? Here's some suggestions: 

- favourite bands/artists/genres 
- crazy fun stories of your past
- what you want to do with your life
- your views on things in life
- favourite tv shows/movies/short films/any type of media
- hobbies


I'm not gonna lay out EVERY topic cause there's so many but once you start talking with the right person you'll find it's hard to stop. Common interests in things bring people together. That saying "opposites attract" isn't really true because if you truly are opposites of each other then you generally don't have the same interests which leaves you with nothing to talk about and usually ends in arguing of some sort, or something along the lines of that. That being said, people can have different interests, people expand on their own interests by becoming interested in other peoples interests. I've said "interest" enough now. The point is, FIND SOME COMMON INTERESTS AND TALK ABOUT IT! Talk through the internet, the phone, through texting, in person, through smoke signal, I don't care just communicate in some way before even considering dating this person. 


3. Step Two: The Almighty First Date.
Now that you've talked, you feel like you are genuinely interested in this person not only for their stunning good looks and charm but also their awesome personality as well, right? Okay, so this is the time to take a risk, asking them on the almighty first date! This can be a little scary because yes, we are all afraid of rejection, but it's better to have tried and failed than not tried at all. If you fail, you move on, find someone new and start all over. That's all there is to it. But how might you ask someone on a date? Or, what should I do for this date? You may ask. Well have no fear! I shall tell you! Here's a list of DOs and DON'Ts


When asking someone on a date....


DO: 
- Ask them in person, over the phone or something more personal than texting or over any form of "chatting" 
- Ask them in a comfortable manner, make sure you're giving them a choice and not making them feel obliged to say yes. [Example, "Hey (insert name here) I was just wondering if you would like to go ice skating or something with me on Sunday" (insert stunning smile here)]
- Be confident, confidence is sexy. 


DON'T: 
- Make a huge show of it because that could make them feel like they have to go, don't be buying gifts or anything like that until at least the third date, and even then make it a small gift, like a single flower rather than a bouquet. Also, some girls are uncomfortable when it comes to receiving gifts, like I am, so be sure to discuss that sort of thing casually. 
- Get your friend to ask them, or any other impersonal thing like that, this must be done yourself. 
- Don't set up the date before they know [Example, "Hey (insert name here) I reserved us a table at that restaurant you said you liked for Saturday, hope you're as excited as I am!" That's just inconsiderate.] 
- Be over-confident because then you just look like an idiot who is full of themselves. 




When going on a date...


DO: 
- Choose a place to go together, somewhere that you will both enjoy. If you like sports and they don't, don't invite them to watch the game.
- Go somewhere casual rather than fancy, like go ice skating, go for a walk down the pier, or to the beach etc.
- Go somewhere that's not overly loud, where you can talk. 
- Bring gum, no one likes bad breath
- Holding hands is first date acceptable if you are both comfortable with it.
- Express that you had a great time and would really like to do it again some time. 
- Walk them home from your date (if walking) 
- Be polite, have manners and etiquette. 
- Guys, opening doors for the ladies is always nice. Girls, thank the gentleman who just held that door open for you! 


DON'T: 
- Bring friends on a first date, later on in the relationship double dates are great and can be a blast but this is the time when you're getting to know each other romantically instead of just as people. 
- Ask them to pay/ refuse to let them pay. If you come to a problem like this, you can discuss if you want to split the cost. I may be old fashioned but the man doesn't always have to pay. I think the person who asked the other person on a date should pay, unless the other person wants to chip in of course. 
- Try to kiss on the first date, or anything like that. 
- Give any gifts at this point. 
- Be obnoxious, talk about only yourself, show off a lot or anything like that.

4. Step Three: Dating
Did you know that 'dating' can mean that you're not in a relationship at all? Oh wow, that's unheard of! Everyone is always in a relationship! After getting to know each other and going on the almighty first date, you should probably consider 'dating' this person you're interested in, instead of immediately asking them to be in a relationship with you. "Well, how long should I be 'dating' this person? Or, what are the rules of this 'dating'?" I'll tell ya. Dating should last for at least a couple weeks, at least long enough to go on at least 3 dates (3 can be a magical number ya know!). Personally, I'd prefer that dating lasts 3 weeks, one date a week, you can go on more dates than three or continue dating for longer than 2 or 3 weeks, but you should stick to the rules of dating while you're dating, makes sense, doesn't it? Here are a few rules when it comes to dating. 


DATING RULES TO KEEP IN MIND! 
- For all first date dos and don'ts, re-read step two!
- Do not kiss on the second date, a kiss on the hand or the cheek in parting or greeting would be acceptable but no kissing on the lips and no going any farther, obviously. Still no gifts at this time, save that for the third date. Go somewhere like a movie, to see a comedy show, go to a concert etc. 
- Yes, you can kiss on the third date, you can also now purchase a small gift if you'd like such as flowers or something, but nothing super expensive. Going to dinner is a good idea for the third date. Do not do anything more than kiss on the third date. 
- While dating you should not sleep together or anything of the sort, wait for the relationship stage.
- "Hanging out" is not considered a date. 
- Dating means that you're are NOT exclusive at this point, that comes when the relationship begins. 
- Do not go to a bar or club for a date, it's not classy at all. 
- If you go to a place that serves alcohol such as a restaurant/concert etc. do not get drunk, also not classy, a drink or two is not a problem but getting drunk is sloppy. 
- Always. Be. Classy. 


5. Step Four: Relationship Time!
Okay, so you've decided that you really like this person and you want to become exclusive, so what do you do? You ask them to be your boyfriend/girlfriend of course! But there ways that you should do this. Here's a few guidelines to follow about how to ask someone out.


Guidelines!
- I suggest asking them while on a date, not just out of the blue. 
- Do NOT ask them over texting or any form of instant messaging, that just takes the special and excitement right out of it.
- Actually, that's about it, you just have to be personal about it and obviously don't make them feel like they have to say yes. 


Okay, so they said yes, and you're in a relationship. No, this does not mean you should jump into bed with each other. Personally, I believe that you shouldn't sleep with someone unless you know you have really strong feelings for them, so be sure of those feelings first. 


6.Uh Oh, Break Ups. 
It's not working out? Well it's better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all right? Okay, so you want to break up with this person, after everything you've decided that you're just not going to work out. Here's some guidelines when it comes to breaking up with someone. 


- Don't do it over text/ instant messaging
- Over the phone is kind of iffy
- It'd be best and most respectful for you to do it in person 
- Don't say the totally cliched line "It's not you, it's me" 
- You better actually have a reason, and you better actually tell them why you two are not going to work out. Breaking up without explanation is just stupid. 
- So, you met someone else that you think you'd be more interested in, it happens sometimes. Be a good person and tell the person you're currently with instead of sneaking around behind their backs, or worse, cheating on them. 
- Always think twice before breaking up with someone, think about if it's something you really want to do. If you're just having some problems see if there's a way that you and your partner could work on these problems rather than just ending it and running away from them. I'd say about 90% of problems that people have in relationships are solvable. Yes, it's going to take time. Yes, it's going to take effort. But if you really care about your partner it's worth it. 
- After breaking up, do not sleep with your ex. It only causes mixed feelings and hurts both people. In a sense, yes it's better than sleeping with a stranger but at the same time it could be very harmful to the friendship if you're wanting to stay friends. 
- After breaking up rebound relationships tend to follow as you're feeling very alone and just want to be loved. Be very careful about this because rebound relationships never last. You want to be at where you and your ex were at so you rush through the relationship trying to get there and it damages the relationship, therefore causing it to end. At the end of a rebound relationship, both people just end up getting hurt. I really don't suggest it. Instead, just take some time to concentrate on yourself and becoming happy again. 




7. I MISS MY EX! 
Okay, so you broke up with your ex and are now missing them like crazy. Don't worry this happens but if you decide you want to get back together, give it time first. You're both still healing and everyone goes through stages after a break up. Here are the stages: 


STAGE ONE: Healing from the Break Up.
During this stage you are healing from the pain you experienced from the break up. Break ups can be harsh and are always hard to deal with so during this stage you (and your ex) will both be very emotional and fragile. It's best to keep your distance and allow them their space so they have time to heal. 


STAGE TWO: Healing from the Bad Memories.
When you two were together something obviously went wrong to cause the break up, either loss of chemistry, attraction, maybe a fight or something along the lines of that. During this time you are slowly pushing all that into the back of your mind, not completely forgetting it but no longer allowing it to bother you. Talking to your ex now would just remind you both of the bad memories and prolong this stage so I suggest keeping the distance until this stage is over. 


STAGE THREE: I Miss You.
After all of the healing, you (or your ex) can finally miss the other person, generally you're not going to be remembering the bad times but you're going to be remembering the good times you had together, the laughs you shared and how happy you were with that person. Think really long and hard if you're sure you want to get back together with your ex, because numerous break ups can be harmful on a relationship and it wastes your time with someone you don't want to be with or doesn't actually want to be with you when you could be finding someone else. Make a list of pro's and con's if you have to and then go about trying to rekindle your relationship or moving on, which ever you choose. 


STAGE FOUR: Moving On. 
After long enough all of the pain and bad memories have subsided, you have decided to maybe try and find someone else who will be more compatible with you. Good for you! Get back out there hot stuff! Just head on back to the top of the page and start all over. If your ex is moving on and you don't want them to, sometimes you just have to accept that it's over and do the same. It's hard but there's no point in waiting around for something when it's already off with another person. Always remember, you are a wonderful person, there are many people who are going to want to date you, you are a fox! So get back out there and be happy! :) 


8. Author's Note
I have been through some pretty bad relationships, break ups and over all had some terrible experiences with dating, not that I'm going to share them with you at this time, but I'm saying I know how it feels. It feels pretty hopeless. I just want to tell you right now, don't give up. Because there ARE awesome people out there. Not all relationships work out and you just have to come to accept it. As you go through these relationships, break ups and bad dating experiences you learn and you grow as a person so sometimes you have to go through the bad to see the good. 


One of the toughest things in the world would have to be break ups. I know there have been times in my life where I go crazy over a break up because you just know that there's some way you can fix it, but sometimes, there's not. I haven't actually gotten around to reading this book but I know the author is great and after skimming through it, it looks pretty helpful. If you're stuck in the middle of a break up and feel hopeless and lost I suggest you read "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken (A Smart Girl's Break Up Buddy) by Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola Behrendt". Greg was also one of the author's in the book "He's Just Not That Into You" which I'm going to talk about in a minute but first I have one thing to say about this book. Yes, it says a smart girls break up buddy but hey, guys can use it too. A lot of the time both guys and girls have had the same feeling towards a break up. So, if you're a guy and you're going through a really tough break up there's no harm in checking out this book. 

Another really great book, which is also directed towards the ladies (but hey, guys, give it a chance!) is a book called "He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo". You've probably seen the movie but I have to say the movie is BASED off parts of the book, the book is nothing like the movie. It's not a bunch of characters doing their thing or anything, it's a book that tells you "if he's doing (insert action i.e. not calling you) he's just not that into you" and it goes more depth into it. This is a book I STRONGLY recommend to anyone, especially people who have had previous issues with dating, such as always going for the wrong type of person. This book has given me such great insight to relationships and if I could hug Greg and Liz and thank them for writing it, I would. If you can get the "newly expanded edition" I suggest it as they added more wonderful things in there for you. 

*newly expanded edition

You can find either of these books at your local bookstore (I bought them from Chapters) or you can order them online. Here are a couple links to order them if you so wish. 

It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken:

http://www.amazon.ca/Its-Called-Breakup-Because-Broken/dp/0767921852

He's Just Not That Into You: 

http://www.amazon.ca/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/068987474X

9. Thank You!

I just want to thank all of you readers for reading my article and I hope it has somehow in someway helped you. :) I love every single one of you! 

Untitled.

She sits there quietly listening to unspoken words. The silence says so much yet nothing at all. The flicker of candle light casts shadows upon her face. The shadows, the darkness, she can not handle. She turns towards the luminescent candle and gazes into the bright orange flame. The flame sways back and forth as if it were dancing to the music. She watches the flame sway, admiring its grace and beauty. Smoke rises up from the flame and begins dancing as well. Right before her eyes the smoke separates in two, each puff taking a different shape. The first looks to be a young man. He looks across to the other puff which has now taken the shape of a young woman wearing a beautiful gown. The young man bows and holds his hand toward the young woman. She reaches out to him with one hand and touches her face with the other as if to say she’s flattered. He smiles at her, takes her hand and pulls the young woman into his arms. They hesitate for a moment as if to say something but just gaze into each others eyes. The young woman returns the smile to the young man and they begin to dance, slowly at first but then they began to whirl and twirl, twist and turn, gliding across the infinite dance floor. The gracefulness and beauty does not compare with the young couple dancing about. As they dance it almost seems as if they are one, moving completely in sync with each other. Not only are they graceful but they are happy. The young man never stops smiling and the young woman laughs as he twirls her around. They catch each other’s eye and it is like they are sharing their thoughts, or having a conversation with no words at all. They slow their dancing to almost a complete stop. The young man cups her face in one hand and holds her close still with the other, and kisses the young woman passionately. The young woman looks up at the young man and a deep blush covers her cheeks. He then twirls her suddenly, picking up the pace and she laughs again, this time with even more happiness and excitement, as if she were celebrating the kiss. A gust of wind comes in through a nearby open window and the young couple disappears along with the warmth and laughter. It is silent, cold and dark as she shakes her head and thinks about the beauty and love that she had just witnessed and how fast it had gone. She just hoped that they had danced off to somewhere else new and exciting. Then the darkness finally consumed her and she gave into it, at least knowing true grace, happiness, beauty and love. 

A Re-Realization With The Help of a Friend

Tonight, I got talking with a friend over Facebook about some things I have gone through in the past. After going back and remembering everything I had this realization, that I know I already knew, just didn't ever know how to say it, but now I've figured out how to put it into words thanks to a very kind and patient person. 


---
Me
I've made a LOT of mistakes in my life. And yet, people still doubt my actions and my reasoning for doing things. For example, most of my friends are appalled that I'm even letting my ex-boyfriend be apart of my life still because he cheated. Just because he cheated doesn't mean I hate HIM, I hate his actions, yes, but he will always be my best friend. They don't comprehend that cause they haven't been through everything I have. Forgiveness is a very powerful thing. I ALWAYS forgive. I'll be mad for as long as I want but some day, one day I'll forgive that person. Even if they screw up and do the same thing 3284728947389247 times. I may get annoyed with them but I still always forgive them in the end.
Because without forgiveness, no one would learn and grow. I'm sure one day I'll forgive the people who have done really wrong to me. Just not any time soon.


Friend
That's a beautiful thing to do, you really are notch above.


Me 
Thanks, most people don't think so, then again I don't usually take the time to explain everything to everyone.
Because I don't believe I should have to justify my actions to anyone, I think I should be able to make my own decisions based on what I know and my own experience rather than people's opinions and it's just natural that I'm going to make mistakes along the way, because I'm human, and I learn from those mistakes. Maybe not right away, or in a way that everyone can see, but I, personally, know in my heart I've learned something.
Thanks so much for listening to my huge long story, it helps me when I talk about it cause sometimes I forget, and sometimes I even forget who I am in a sense.


Friend
well, I'm glad you told me


Me
Like, what I just wrote, the above two paragraphs, I didn't know how to put it into words before to the people judging me and telling me what to do but now I know, just from recapping everything
All I could say was "you don't understand" which is a horrible thing to say to anyone cause they just might understand if you actually explain to them. As people, we generally don't take the time to do that. We just get angry and frustrated with them for not being able to read your mind.


Friend
I've actually thought the same thing


Me
I bet a lot of people have. Most people just don't actually acknowledge it.


Friend
Well, I haven't until now.


Me
But we all know this, we just need to be reminded sometimes.
---


So to all that read this, please take this all to heart, and always remember to forgive. You don't have to forget, actually I don't even suggest forgetting because remembering your past and your mistake allows you to be who you are today and to continue to learn and grow. I hope that what I've said makes someone think, if what I've said here has made even just one person change the way they see things in a positive way I'd be eternally happy. Never let yourself forget who you are and always be true to yourself.


Love Always, 
Amanda <3 

A Dream I'll Never Forget

On the poll I have posted on the side of my blog people voted for some of my original stuff, well here's an original story I started writing, but first I'm going to tell you how I came up with it. It came to me in a dream, like, literally, this was actually just a dream I had. Of course I added a few things, changed a few things and all of that fancy writer stuff because if I didn't it would be really confusing (as most dreams are). There is no title yet, but I was thinking something along the lines of The Immortals, cause it just fits. Basically, the story you are about to read is a story of love, fear, suspense and friendship but it's not your average romance novel or something like that, because there's a twist. What is it? Read on to find out... 


> Things had been pretty strange lately, to say in the least. News reports in the paper, on the tv, over the radio, all going on about missing people, buildings being set on fire, and so on. It may not seem strange because these things do happen but it's not the events happening that was strange, it was how frequently they had been happening. I had decided to bring it up with my "kind-of-boyfriend", Alexander as we stood in my kitchen of my apartment one late afternoon. I say "kind-of-boyfriend" because we really hadn't put a label on our relationship yet but we might as well have been dating. 


"You see the news lately?" I asked


"Yeah," he replied "why?" 


"I don't know," I said, shaking my head "it just seems kind of strange is all." 


"Oh yeah, I agree. They said they have no leads on who might have been doing it either." he nodded, looking concerned. 


"Well, whoever is doing this must really know what they're doing. I'm really worried, I mean, what if something happened to one of us? I can't even..." I trailed off, not wanting to think about what I would do if I lost him. He pulled me close to him. 


"Me too." he whispered into my hair.


That's one of the things I've always loved about Alexander, he could say so much without saying hardly anything at all. Cheesy as it may sound, we could look each other in the eye and it was like we could have a whole conversation without saying a single word. 


"I've gotta get going though." he said, breaking the silence.


"Where are you off to?" I asked out of curiosity 


"Oh, nowhere," he said nonchalantly "Just to meet an old buddy of mine." 


I hesitated for a moment. Alexander was never vague about his plans, I couldn't help but be slightly suspicious. Alexander himself was mysterious, sometimes you just couldn't tell how he felt about things, he kept his emotions hidden from everyone. This often made me question his feelings towards me. After all, we still didn't have a label on our relationship and we had been seeing each other for a couple months. Alexander broke my train of thought by moving my hand away from my face. 


"Stop biting your nails, you'll regret it later." he reminded me "What are you so nervous about anyways?" 


Unlike Alexander, I've always been very easy to read. My facial expressions and behaviors give away everything all the time so it's nearly impossible to keep secrets, especially from someone as observant as Alexander. I looked away from his big, green eyes. I couldn't look him in the eye and lie to him. 


"Just don't get hurt okay? It's dangerous out there." 


"I won't," he smiled sympathetically "I'm just going to the mall anyways, there's lots of people there. I don't think anyone would try anything in such a public place at this time in the evening." 


"Yeah you're probably right." I mumbled


"I'll see you in a few hours, okay?" he reassured me with a kiss on the cheek


"Okay." 


He grabbed his coat and walked out the door. As I heard the door shut I walked into my living room. I sat down on my "white as snow" couch alone for a few minutes, thinking. The whole situation was kind of strange, he seemed so excited to see this "buddy" of his who I'd never heard him talk about before. And since when did he use the word "buddy", it wasn't a word in his day-to-day vocabulary. Or since when did he not tell me who he was going to go meet? I never even had to ask before, he'd just tell me where he was going and who he was going with automatically, something was weird about this. I may have been paranoid or jumping to conclusions but the only thing I wanted to do was jump in my car and go investigate. I glanced at the clock, it was 5:30 pm. Alexander had left almost half an hour before, it would be safe for me to go to the mall and check up on him. Besides, I needed to pick up a few things anyways, or so I told myself to feel reassured about nearly stalking my own partner. I quickly got ready and jumped in my car. It was freezing as I turned on my heater full blast, I hoped the roads weren't going to be icy, it was the middle of January, and colder than ever. 


I finally arrived at the mall after being stuck in traffic and trying to find a parking spot. I had managed to avoid a few accidents almost caused by people who weren't smart enough to invest in winter tires. By the time that I got into the mall I was irritated and frustrated beyond belief, cursing and swearing people under my breath. I became even more irritated and frustrated when I realized how impossible it was going to be to find Alexander in this crowded mess of a mall. I walked around for awhile looking at people, looking for someone with longish, brown hair, green eyes, pale skin and a smile that lit up my world but found none of those, only strangers who didn't smile at me at all. 


Finally, I gave up and accepted defeat, clearly I wasn't meant to find Alexander. Clearly, I was being paranoid and stupid and all my efforts were a huge waste of time. I walked over to the movie theatre's concession stand they have conveniently located in the mall and bought myself a bag of popcorn with extra butter, who cares about the extra calories and things that make your body go "ick", I was feeling down. After sitting down and eating the whole bag of popcorn feeling stupid, I was about to get up to go home when I saw him. There was Alexander, walking out of the theatre, laughing and chatting with some girl who looked like a spitting image of a Barbie. Anger bubbled up inside me, yeah right, hanging out with a "buddy". I stood up and marched over to them.  


"Oh, Alexander, hey!" I said through a fake smile "So, this is the 'buddy' you were talking about? How nice." 


"Marie? What are you doing here?" he asked, looking genuinely surprised. 


"Oh, I just remembered that I had to pick up a few things. Can I talk to you for a moment, in private?" I turned and looked at Barbie girl who was just standing there, smiling. So, she was stupid too. "I'm his girlfriend by the way."


"I'm Kendra, but my friends call me Kenny, I'm-" she began


"That's nice, Ken. I just need to talk to Alexander for a teensy, weensy moment here so just give us a minute okay?" I cut her off, dragging Alexander away. She smiled and waved at us, yet looked kind of confused. Clearly, she just didn't get it. 


"What do you call this?!" I exclaimed as soon as we were safely out of earshot. "You're hanging out with a 'buddy'? Buddy is a word used to define a guy friend you watch the game and have a couple beers with, not some blonde chick you take to see a movie!" 


"Marie, if you just let me explain-" he began 


"I don't need you to explain what's right in front of my eyes! I see it clear as day! You're with another woman!" I cut him off "You know, I never pushed for a label on us, but maybe I should have. Maybe there was a reason why you never pushed for one either!" 


"Why won't you listen? I'm trying to tell you I'm not seeing another woman!" he said through his teeth. 


"I don't believe you." I retorted. 


"You don't believe me?!" he asked, looking at me incredulously "I have never given you a reason to not trust me." 


"You just did." I pointed out. 


"You know what? Forget it, Marie. You're being impossible, I'm done with this conversation. Goodbye." he said angrily and walked back to Barbie girl. 


I sighed in defeat and sat back down at the table. I watched them walk away slowly as if they were trying to rub it in my face. I watched them walk off into the distance and disappear in the crowds when suddenly I heard something. First, a crash and then a bloodcurdling scream. I froze where I was, trying to comprehend what had just happened. As soon as I could move I ran over to where the sounds came from. As I turned a corner I saw it and I was stuck where I stood, frozen with fear. Already, half of the mall was filled with flames, screaming people and bodies all over the floor. Blood covered everything that surrounded this horror scene. 


"Alexander." I whispered to myself as I whipped back around the corner. Did he get out of the mall already? Was he alive? My previous anger towards him quickly turned into fear and sadness. I couldn't lose him, especially not the way we had left things. I had to find him. I glanced around trying to figure out who or what was causing this mess. I peeked around the corner again and as I did I saw one of them. At first I thought it was just a man but when I looked at him closer I noticed he was kneeling down beside someone. He grabbed their head between his hands and suddenly with a twisting, jerking motion he snapped their neck without any effort at all. I gasped and covered my mouth, hoping he hadn't heard me but it was too late. He stood up slowly and turned towards me. His eyes met with mine for just a second and I couldn't believe it but I could have sworn his eyes were glowing a deep red, like the colour of fresh blood. A huge, evil grin spread across his face as if he were saying "you're next". He raised an eyebrow at me and took a step forward. I just stood there, in shock, watching him. I managed to make my legs work and backed up slowly around the corner. With my hands at my sides, I felt a cold surface behind me, and turned around to see a window with an older man looking at me from behind the glass. I jumped back in surprise. The man moved forwards and I heard locks clicking and a doorknob turning. I wanted to run but something told me not to. The man opened the door a few inches and beckoned to me. 


"Quick, come in!" he hurriedly said in a hushed voice. Without thinking I grabbed the door and hurried inside the small room. The room looked like some sort of meeting room, only smaller. It had a table that could seat about six people, a white board, an old desk with a green lamp on it and a big white clock mounted on the wall. Other than that, the room was empty. The man began re-locking the door and turned off the fluorescent lights. It was pitch black other than the little light coming in from the window. I heard some shuffling and then the lamp was turned on. 


"Please, sit down." the man said gesturing to the chairs surrounding the table. 


I did as he suggested and sat in the chair farthest from the door. The man pulled open the desk drawer and pulled out of stack of black paper and some tape and began placing them over the narrow window. 


"What happened here?" I asked 


"The same thing that has been happening for some time now, don't you watch the news?" he replied. 


"Well, yes," I nodded "so these people, they're robbers or something? Terrorists? Serial killers?" 


For each suggestion I came up with he shook his head. "Immortals." he said flatly. 


"Excuse me?" had I heard him correctly? 


"They're not normal people, they're immortal in a way. They don't need to sleep, eat, or even breathe." he sighed. Oh, great. I managed to escape a crazy killer and now I was locked in a room with someone just as crazy. 


"You're telling me these things are like mythical creatures, like vampires or zombies?" I half rolled my eyes. 


"No, I'm not." he retorted "They don't kill for blood, they don't kill for brains, they don't feed off of people at all. They kill for the thrill of it, my theory is that they live off of fear." 


I wasn't sure what to think. "Why do you know so much about all of this?" I asked suspiciously. 


"I was curious," he replied " I looked into all of the reports, really looked into them. I figured it wouldn't be long before I'd see this with my own eyes and experience it so I might as well be aware of what I'm getting into." 


It made enough sense to me. I looked at the man in depth for the first time since I had gotten into the small room. His hair was greying, wrinkles beginning to form on his wise face. As he talked his bright, blue eyes were wide with fear and knowledge. I realized he was wearing a navy blue uniform.


"So you work here?" I asked


"Yes ma'am. I'm a security officer." He showed me his badge. It certainly wasn't as cool as a police officer or something like that but somehow I felt a bit safer. "This is my office. By the way, the name's Chester." 


"Nice to meet you Chester, my name is Marie." I smiled slightly. "So, Chester, what are we going to do?" 


"Well," he began "I'm not an expert on these things yet, I don't know what they're capable of but I know that not only are they strong, but they carry weapons. All that fire you see out there? Flamethrowers. No clue where they got them and got so many of them but they've got 'em."


"Flamethrowers... great..." I felt nauseous, where was Alexander? 


"Now, what's wrong young lady? Something's on your mind, aside from the fact that we're trapped in a tiny room with killing machines running around. There's just this look on your face, and you gotta stop biting your nails." Chester said, trying to make a joke out of the situation. 


"It's a man, a man I love. He's here somewhere in the mall and I don't know whether he's dead or alive." I lowered my head. 


"Ah," Chester said sympathetically. "I lost my wife three years ago, I know the feeling of loss. Tell me what happened, why wasn't he with you?" 


I launched into my story starting back at the apartment, I told him all about Barbie girl and how he stormed off, angry with me. 


"And now that brings me here." I ended the story.


"You wouldn't let him explain?" Chester shook his head and clucked his tongue. "One thing you always have to remember in life is to have patience, always give people second chances and stop being in such a hurry to point fingers." 


"I know, I realize that now," I replied, a tear forming in my eye. "But for all I know it could be too late." 


"Don't you worry," Chester said, walking over and bending down to wipe the tear from my cheek "You'll find him, you just have to be brave. Here, I have something for you." 


Chester walked over to the desk and rummaged around for a minute. He came back and handed me a switchblade knife, reached into his belt and handed me a taser. 


"It's not much but it's all I have, well, that and my good ol' beating stick but I'm gonna keep that for myself just in case. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't tell anyone about the knife, not supposed to have those no more." He winked at me. 


"Thank you, so much." I said, and I really meant it. I stood up and made my way towards the door, knowing what I had to do next. I had to face the immortals and find my Alexander. Chester walked over to the door with me and put one hand on my shoulder and the other on the lock. 


"Be careful out there, Marie. I don't know what other weapons they have, I don't know of any other things they can do, but my one word of advice is that at any time you come across one, flight before fight. I've noticed some of them are slower than average and if you're in good shape unlike me, you can probably outrun them." He said


"Again, I can't thank you enough, Chester. Is there anything that I could do for you at all?" I asked


"I don't want much, I'm just glad to help out, it is my job after all. But you could do one thing, if you happen to come across a Twix chocolate bar, bring it back for me will you? They're my favourite, and I'm starving. I'll just be in here, hiding out." He smiled and patted me on the back. "Good luck young lady." 


"Thank you, you too." he unlocked the door and I turned the handle, about to face a whole world of the scary unknown, but I could do it. I could do it for Alexander. 


----


> I opened the door and peeked around the corner, it seemed as if the immortals had left, I clutched the knife at my side just in case. I walked slowly and carefully down the hallway of the mall, all around me was broken glass, blood and dead bodies. I tried not to look at the bodies but it was nearly impossible, there were so many. As I passed one body I heard a moaning noise coming from it. I stopped suddenly, contemplating whether or not I should go see if they were okay. I saw no harm in it so I walked over to the moaning person. I knelt down beside them, they were laying on their side, clutching their stomach. I rolled them over and looked into their face to find it was a face I recognized. I gasped with shock. A young man with bright blue eyes, blonde hair and a strong jaw looked back at me vacantly. There lay one of Alexander's coworkers, Mason. I had only met Mason a few times, and I had him and Alexander over for supper one night. I never really got to know him well, but seeing him laying on the floor dying was still heartbreaking. 


"Mason, can you hear me?" I asked him


"Yes.." he managed to whisper. 


"What happened?" I asked, frantically looking around.


"Those things... they.." he took a breath and moved his hand which was resting on his stomach. Underneath his hand was a giant wound, it looked as if he had been stabbed. My mind raced, what should I do, should I get him to a hospital? But I needed to find Alexander. 


"Mason, have you seen Alexander?" I asked, feeling bad about asking.


He nodded and pointed in the direction that I had been heading before. I looked at Mason and decided I couldn't just leave him there, I had to do something to help him. 


"Mason, do you think you can move if I helped you?" I asked


Mason hesitated for a moment then nodded. I moved to near Mason's shoulders and glanced around quickly to make sure we were still safe.  I slowly lifted him up, using all of the strength in my body that I could. With his help, I managed to get him on his feet and got him to lean on my shoulder. Together, we walked back in the direction I had came from. I needed to find somewhere safe for him and I knew where that could be. 


I brought Mason back to Chester's office. I knocked on the door quietly and whispered for Chester to open the door. I heard the lock click and the door open a crack. 


"Good gracious!" Chester exclaimed, "Back already? Is that your Alexander?" 


I walked in the door with Mason leaning on me, it was so hard to walk with him since he was taller than me but at least 5 inches. "No," I replied "But this is one of his friends, he got attacked by the immortals, it looks as if he's been stabbed. I have to try to save him." 


"Well, you're going to need to get some sort of dressing on that wound to slow the bleeding or he'll bleed to death." Chester pointed out. "There's a store here in this mall that has towels, it's not too far from here, just go around the corner and keep walking until you come to the food court, take a right from there and it should be right in that area, it's pretty easy to find." 


I nodded, and made an attempt at passing Mason to Chester, Chester wavered under Mason's weight. I looked at him, as if asking if he could handle it. "I've got him," Chester reassured me "I'll do what I can while you're gone. Go quickly now." 


I rushed back out the door and around the corner, nearly running down the hallway of the mall, I got to the food court in no time at all. I paused once I was in the food court, glancing around to make sure I was alone. I didn't see anyone but I just had a feeling that someone was watching me, waiting for me. I shrugged it off and hurried to the right where the store was supposed to be, I saw it immediately and ran in. It wasn't a small store like I was expecting, it was one of those big stores attached to the mall. I ran down the first aisle I saw and looked frantically for towels. Nope, not the first aisle I checked, not the second one either. I looked towards the back of the store and saw a sign that read "linen". I assumed there would be towels in that aisle and made a beeline for it. 


Once I was in the back of the store I got that same feeling again, the feeling of being watched, of being hunted. I couldn't shake it off this time, I swore I saw something out of the corner of my eye but when I turned to look there was no one there. I saw a large, folded up, white sheet and grabbed it, thinking it would work the same. I quickly turned back around and made my way to the exit, not running this time. Every corner I turned I looked before walking, I still felt the presence of another person.


I was nearly at the exit when I heard something go whizzing by my ear. It hit the wall just past my head and shattered into a million pieces. I examined the mess for a moment and realized it looked like it was once a glass jar. I turned around slowly, to face one of them, staring at me with another glass jar in his hand about 15 feet away. I put my hand on my knife, ready to pull it out if needed. It wasn't until he smiled at me that I recognized him. It was the same immortal I had seen before when Chester saved me. He raised his eyebrow at me as if to challenge me and took a step forwards. He whipped the glass jar at me and automatically I ducked. It flew over my head and smashed against the wall, joining the other shards of glass laying on the ground. He took another step forward. 


"What do you want?!" I exclaimed without knowing why I'd even said it. I wasn't even sure these things could talk. 


His eyes narrowed and he looked right into my eyes. "You." he said in a deep, harsh voice.


Startled, I took a step backwards a bumped into a table. I glanced behind me and saw a sign on the table marked "Clearance" with a bunch of items laying on it. My eyes automatically went to the kitchen knives  in a box laying partially opened on the table. I grabbed them as fast as I could, taking another step away from the immortal, trying to rip open the box. He took two more steps towards me and slowly raised his hand with his palm facing up. He beckoned with his fingers as if saying "come here". 


I shook my head and freed the first knife from the box, it was just a small knife but it was sharp. He took one more step towards me and without thinking I threw the knife at him. It went tumbling through the air and to my surprise stuck right into his arm. He looked down at his arm with the knife in it without any expression at all. He grabbed the handle of the knife and pulled it out with ease and dropped it to the ground. I noticed there was no blood on the knife. I froze in shock. 


Suddenly, I remembered what Chester told me. His voice came into my head. "My one word of advice is that at any time you come across one, flight before fight. " I nodded as if he were really talking to me. I dropped the box of knives and turned around and started running for the exit. Once in the hallway I paused for a brief moment to look behind me and saw him making his way towards me, not running at all, merely walking with a smirk on his face that said "I will get you, eventually." I started running down the hallway again towards the food court. I threw the sheet over my shoulder and pulled the taser out of my pocket and held it in my hand as I ran. 


Every corner I turned I glanced behind me to see if he was still following but once I was out of the food court I couldn't see him anymore. I finally reached Chester's office door and pounded on it loudly. He quickly unlocked it and opened it then shut it quickly behind me. 


"You're as pale as a ghost." Chester noticed aloud. 


"I.. I saw one." I stuttered. I handed Chester the sheet and sat down on the floor. "It was the same one as before." 


Chester raised an eyebrow at me and bent down beside Mason who looked to be unconscious. He began dressing Mason's wound, quickly yet so gently. "What happened?" he asked

"I saw him in the store where I got the sheet, he threw glass jars at me so I threw a kitchen knife at him. He just pulled it out like nothing and there was no blood at all. When I ran away he didn't run after me, he just walked, it was so strange.." I trailed off remembering the look on his face as I ran. I shook off the thought and turned to Chester who was deep in thought. 


"Hmm.." Chester said after a few moments "That does seem very peculiar. Well, the more we know about them the better, but I'm glad you're safe." 


"Yeah, not for long. I have to go back out there and find Alexander. Thanks to Mason, I know which way he went." I turned to look at Mason who was laying on the floor. "Is he going to be okay?" 


"I sure hope so," Chester replied "He's losing consciousness but he's still breathing, I hope he'll be alright. He needs to get to a hospital really soon though." 


"Well, what are we going to do?" I asked


"I called them on my cell phone, they said the authorities have already been informed of what's happening but they're not sending anyone in yet." He shook his head looking angry "There's people in here who are suffering and dying, they need medical attention, it's just not right." 


I nodded my head in agreement and remembered Alexander. He could be somewhere needing medical attention too. I figured it was time to go back out there and find him. "I guess I better get back out there," I said turning to the door. "Here I go, again." 


---

Once back outside I began running the way that Mason had pointed. I clutched the knife at my side and glanced behind my shoulder as I ran through the food court. I had been expecting the immortal to be standing there, or still slowly walking towards me with a smirk on his face, as if he had all the time in the world to catch me and kill me. I shook my head trying to rid the morbid thoughts in my head. I didn't have time to think about how I would die right now, I had to concentrate on Alexander. 

I passed the store which had broken glass trailing out of the exit and looked towards the escalator that lead upstairs to other stores. There was a sign showing all of the stores that were on the second floor. There was a candle store of some sort, a book store, a couple clothing stores, shoe stores, a coffee shop and more. As I skimmed through the list of stores I didn't see any reason for Alexander to go up there, unless maybe he were looking for a good book when everything happened so suddenly. 

I got the feeling of being watched again, but this time the feeling of being hunted wasn't accompanying it. I turned my head to peek over my shoulder and saw a figure standing in a dim corner near the escalator by a bench and a garbage can. The figure stepped towards me quickly then stopped suddenly as if realizing I was not the person they thought I was. They retreated back to the bench and sat down. Out of curiosity I began walking slowly over to the figure. It obviously wasn't an immortal, if it were I would probably be already dead. 

As I drew closer I started recognizing the figure, it was a man sitting there, hunched over, but it wasn't just any man. 

"Alexander?!" I gasped. I began smiling ear to ear. Relief swelled over me, just knowing that he was alive. I stopped smiling when I saw his grim expression. "Thought you'd be a little happier to see me..." 

"It's not that I'm not happy to see that you're alive and safe, it's just the circumstances are..." he paused, clearing his throat as he gestured to our surroundings "rather grim."

I took a look around us finally seeing everything in depth now that I was no longer distracted with finding the love of my life. There were ashen stores with flickering flames and glowing embers, there were moans of people suffering from stab wounds and various other injuries, everything in the mall was completely out of place. Papers lay scattered along the floors along with broken glass, dirt from knocked over plants and blood. I turned back to look at Alexander and realized for the first time that he was alone. I was unsure if I should ask him the question that I was sure I didn't want to know the answer to. 

"Where's Kendra?" I asked softly, almost whispering. 

Alexander shook his head. "I don't know, I've been looking for her but I haven't been able to find her. I last saw her just after we parted at the movie theatre. When there was that loud noise everyone began panicking and scattered everywhere, she got lost in the crowd." 

"Oh.." I trailed off. I couldn't help but notice that he had mentioned he looked for Kendra but not me. I guess he was really upset with me. 

Alexander saw the expression on my face and read me like a book. He lifted my chin and looked into my eyes. "I tried to look for you too, you know that right? I'm not a cold person you know." 

We both smiled slightly as we were on the verge of kissing and making up but we both paused for a moment when we both heard a faint sound. This faint sound was too familiar for me to ever forget, even if I tried. It was the sound of footsteps, but not just any footsteps, the footsteps that belonged to the immortal that had been following me around the mall, slowly as if he knew he'd get me eventually. I'd be damned if I let him get me now, now that I knew that Alexander was alive. I had completed my mission but I wasn't giving up yet. 

"We have to hide somewhere." Alexander said, eyes wide. "We can't stay here much longer or it will see us." 

"I know of somewhere.." I trailed off. I thought of Chester's small office but then remembered it was in the direction that the immortal was coming from. "But we'll have to see if we can find another way there, he's blocking our path. Let's try to go upstairs and go around somehow." 

Alexander nodded and took my hand and we crept around the railing of the escalator and peered and the immortal slowly making his way to us as we travelled up the stairs. It was hard to tell what he had in his hand but as a beam of light hit the object and the light shone off of it I was fairly sure I could guess. This immortal had found a flamethrower. 

**to be continued.